Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Are we mature enough for this?

So today was our first day of our childbirth class. Here I am, the excited student, notebook in hand, all the requested materials, there in time, frantically asking what all I need to do to get signed in. Trying to keep from grabbing the info card from my sweet husband who is trying to fill it out for me because he is going too slow. Class starts and the teacher is really nice but has this odd mannerism of speaking really slowly, pausing, and staring at each one of us as if to drive home her point straight into your eyes. So there I am sitting straight and tall, not at the front but not at the back either. I am going to learn and take notes and be a great student. She keeps asking questions and waiting for responses and no one does so of course the teacher in me knows that if a question is asked then she wants an answer. After the first hour of class Rob quietly requested that I try to ease back from being the first to respond to every question. So then class proceeds and she holds up a very real, life-like baby and is demonstrating the baby in the womb and how it may be positioned due to the way you are laying or sitting. She keeps holding the baby upside down and shaking it's head around! So I start to get really nervous for a few reasons. One, this woman is shoving a baby through a very small opening. Two, she is showing the comparisons between a lifesaver and a bagel. (I'll let you figure out what those are supposed to represent) Three, she is constantly staring me down. So I start to get his nervous laugh that lasts all through class at random times when we are supposed to be practcing relaxation techniques. The final peice of cake that will probably cuase this kind, helpful woman to ban me from class was that she was talking about some early labor signs and .....I can't even write about it. Let's just say that everyone could have followed her comment with one of the best "that's what she said," lines of all time. I lost it and couldn't get it back in control through the next 5 minutes. I few people chuckled at what she said but kept it in control, even my husband who lives for any moment to say that's what she said. I on the other hand am the bad student and left with my head hanging.

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